About men and women
Have men dominated and exploited women? Isn’t it ridiculous that men occupy the majority of important positions, including academic chairs, and earn more than women? Was Larry Summers (former president of Harvard University, member of the Clinton cabinet) wrong to wonder whether the lack of women in the sciences is due to prejudices? I have always been inclined to say yes to all those questions. After reading a lecture by Roy Baumeister (delivered at the 2007 American Psychological Association conference) I have to reconsider my answer.
Baumeister points to the intriguing fact that 80 percent of women and only 40 percent of men have procreated. This means that a few men have lots of children (Genghis Khan apparently had 1000 or so) and lots of men have none. In the evolution of the species, so Baumeister suggests, men had to take risks in order to procreate. They had to stand out to stand a chance with women.
The real eye opener was his remark that if we look at the top men do visibly better—in terms of positions, rewards, achievements, and the like—but when we look at the bottom we also see many more men than women. Mostly men live in the gutters, occupy the prisons, and die in wars. Of the 3000 American war dead in Iraq only 62 are women. Baumeister concludes that men live more risky lives.
Baumeister attributes the differences between the sexes—the operation of gender—not to a difference in talent, or intelligence, but to a difference in motivation. Men are, more than women, motivated to take risks, to venture outside the home, to engage in many, often superficial, relations, to undertake risky expeditions and the like. Women are, more than men, motivated to work on intimate relationships, to take care of their homes and the like. According to him evolution makes sense of this difference in motivation. The caring behavior of women was essential for the survival of groups. That is why men were supposed to protect them. Men’s lives were dispensable and could be sacrificed in case of a real threat. (That is why 34 percent of the rich men versus 46 percent of the poor women survived the Titanic disaster).
This account helps me to understand the frictions I am experiencing with my wife. She used to complain about the amount of time and energy I spend on things and people outside the home, that I often do more for people I hardly know than for her and our children, that I have this ambition to prove myself in the outside world. We now understand (for it was she who drew my attention to the article of Baumeister) that is due to evolution. I as a man have to go out, be competitive, be ambitious at times, and engage in many more or less superficial relations, because it is my nature. Whereas it is in her nature to care for the home, to seek intimacy with me, and to be emotional about a time like Christmas (which is for me just hard work). Thanks to Baumeister, my wife and I have reached a mutual understanding. And I understand a little better why I am doing what I am doing.